Swords Plays
by Amberdiamondswords
Summary: Swords and the ninja play a variety of video games! Kind of a Diamond Dare Show extra for your amusement. Rated T for language and awesomeness.
1. Chapter 1: Slender

Swords: Eh? Sounds like I'm walking in cereal. Like Corn Flakes. I don't even like Corn Flakes! This is what it sounds like when my cat goes to use the liter box

Ratchet: You don't have a cat Swords!

Swords: Yes I do, you're my cat! And this is what it sounds like when you poop!

Ratchet: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that

*Words appear on screen*

Swords: S-L-E-N-D-E-R. Wow they really blew they're money on the title screen. I believe that font is called: simply derp. Seriously I could write that better with my ass!

*Flashlight turns on and looks around*

Swords: Uh let's see it's the middle of the night, I have my flashlight with limited battery power, I forgot my compass and my map, and there isn't another human being for about twenty miles. I say I'm perfectly prepared for my midnight picnic fun time extravaganza.

*Starts walking around*

Swords: I'm here to answer the age old question: does Sensei Wu poop in the woods? I will not leave until I get an answer.

*Finds first page: LEAVE ME ALONE*

Swords: Leave Slenderman alone! He's a human being! With no face!

*Walks in a new direction*

Swords: Being out here makes me feel like Survivor Man or Bear Grylls. Stuck in the woods, better drink my own piss!

*Finds abandoned truck*

Swords: Hey look it's Slenderman's truck. Actually it's his mom's truck but she let's him borrow it on weekends.

*Finds second page: Picture of Slenderman and trees*

Swords: All these trees, I feel like I'm in that garden from the Hoenn Pokemon movie: Pokemon Heroes

Clank: Actually, that was a Johto movie, it wasn't actually Hoenn

Swords: Oh don't start with me! Look, Latias and Latios are Hoenn Pokemon. Therefore it's a Hoenn movie

Clank: Well no, there's an important distinction to make between Pokemon and regions-

Swords: For buscus sake, they were in Hoenn!

Clank: They were in freaking Johto, Amber!

Swords: No they weren't and don't call me-

Slenderman: Hey guys!

Swords: Oh crap it's that friggin' annoying guy I'm getting the hell out of here!

*Runs into bathhouse*

Slenderman: I'm just here to inform you that they were actually on an island outside of Johto

Swords: I do not care, piss off! God that guy is so annoying I hate him!

*Looks around bathhouse*

Swords: Huh, a public bathroom that hasn't been destroyed with vulgar graffiti and paintings...that's a first. Stuck in the bathroom, better drink my own piss! Haven't heard from a Slenderman in a good couple of seconds, I guess it's safe now.

*Exits bathhouse and enter gasoline tank area*

Swords: I wonder if this game looks better or worse with the flashlight on...I think the jury's still out on that one. Man this game is like playing Pokemon Snap on extreme mode. What did you do Nintendo? You created the Nintendo 2DS, that's what ya' did!

*Walks around more*

Swords: ...Slenderman, Slenderman, does whatever a Slenderman does. Is he there? No he's not-

Slenderman: Hey guys!

Swords: Oh crap he is there! Look out! There goes the Slenderman!

*Starts running away*

Slenderman: I just wanted to help you sing my theme song-

Swords: No

Slenderman: Slenderman, Slenderman-

Swords: No

Slenderman: Does whatever a Slenderman-

Swords: NO!

Slenderman: Can I play the video game with you guys?

Swords: FRIG NO YOU FRIGGIN' FRIG!

Slenderman: Bye guys!

Swords: Why does he say "guys" when there's only one of me?

*Walks towards the brick 'X'*

Swords: Now that I think about it, Clank do you know where Slenderman comes from?

Clank: He comes from a world of darkness where no trace of humanity exists. And should you enter its unholy domain, you will find yourself unable to escape with your sanity intact.

Swords: I thought he came from the internet?

Clank: That's what I said, isn't it?

Slenderman: Hey guys!

Swords: What?

Slenderman: I just wanna let you know that I'll be killing you in about ten seconds, okay?

Swords: FRIG OFF!

Slenderman: Okay!

Swords: You know, I prefer the original version of this game "Bender" where you were chased by a really angry drunk robot voiced by John Dimaggio. IT was great

*Sees third page*

Swords: Ah-ha! The final note and the last piece of the puzzle which will reveal who the Slenderman-

3/8

Swords: Oh...well that was a huge let down

*Screen becomes blurry*

Slenderman: HEY GUYS

Swords: AH! I'M BEING KILLED BY SLENDERMAN BETTER DRINK MY OWN PISS!

Ratchet: ...what?

* * *

**I shall give a prize to whoever knows who's Slender "Let's Play" I based this off of**

**HINT: For once, it wasn't Tobuscus**

**And if you have no idea, tell me what your favorite line was. **

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off...well, I'm ending the author's notes, better drink my own piss**


	2. Chapter 2: Minecraft

Ratchet: Hello and welcome to my let's play-

LC: _Our_ let's play

Ratchet: F*** off LC, no one likes you!

LC: Fine! *Turns back into Clank*

Ratchet: That's better. Today we shall be playing a fan favorite, Minecraft!

**MINECRAFT**

Ratchet: Oh I see, there's a Creeper face in the 'A' oh that's clever Mojang, real clever

*Spawns into new world*

Clank: It appears that everything it made out of cubes

Ratchet: That would be blocks Clank, not cubes. I thought we went though this earlier, I gave you a lesson on Minecraft.

Clank: I left the room about five minutes into it

Ratchet: You son of a toaster!

*Walks over to a tree and starts punching it*

Ratchet: Let's see, I'm a regular guy in a mysterious world made of blocks that has zombies and skeletons trying to kill me, so the first thing I'm going to do is punch a tree. That makes sense.

*Collects wood and enters inventory*

Ratchet: What the hell am I supposed to do now?

Clank: You have to turn the wood blocks into wooden planks in the crafting space above the inventory. Then use the wooden planks to make a Crafting Table.

Ratchet: I smell a game guide on you Clank!

*Makes wooden panels then makes a Crafting Table*

Ratchet: Ah-ha! I'm starting to get good at this! Now all I have to do is make a pickaxe, mine some stone, then build a house before it gets dark-OH MY GOD A CHICKEN!

Clank: *Facepalm*

*Walks over to chicken*

Ratchet: Hello chicken, I will call you Jimmy. You shall be my new Clank.

Clank: It's a video game Ratchet, it can't replace me.

Ratchet: Don't tempt me, I will go out and buy a real chicken!

*Makes wooden pickaxe and starts mining stone*

Ratchet: _Do you like my pickaxe, pick- my wooden pickaxe? You can not just kick kick, my my wooden pick pick-_

Swords: You have two seconds to stop singing that song before I throw you into Twilight's room!

Ratchet: Shutting up now!

Clank: It is getting dark, you should probably start building your house.

Ratchet: Right right

*Builds tiny cabin*

Clank: That house seems rather small

Ratchet: Then it should be perfect for you

Zombie: Meeeeeeeeeeeeeh

Ratchet: Haha! You ain't getting in my ma' house!

Spider: *Crawls over wall*

Clank: You forgot to build a roof, didn't you?

Ratchet: Heh-heh-...you need to talk less *Hits spider with pickaxe and it dies*

Zombie: *Trying to bust the door down*

Ratchet: Hey! Stop making all of that noise! I will files a noise complaint!

Clank: You can't file a noise complaint in Minecraft, there are no police officers.

Ratchet: Well there's a police officer character skin, that's close enough.

Clank: Not really

Ratchet: Quiet you!

Jimmy the Chicken: Bok bok bok bok

Ratchet: Oh god, I left Jimmy outside! *Opens door* Quickly Jimmy, come inside!

Jimmy the Chicken: *Comes inside*

Creeper: *Behind Jimmy*

Ratchet: Whoa Jimmy, you didn't say that you were bringing a guest. I 'm afraid that he'll have to sleep on the floor

Clank: Ratchet, that's a Creeper!

Ratchet: Hehe...oh yeah...AAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Creeper: Tssssssssssssssss BOOM!

**You Died!**

**Total Score: 69**

Ratchet: I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing that coming

Clank: Perhaps I should try the game

Ratchet: Pff, you at Minecraft? Alright, have at it

2 hours later

**You win!**

Ratchet: ...You built a house...mined diamond...got ender pearls...went to the Nether...got Blaze Powder...made Eye of Enders...made a portal...and defeated the Ender Dragon in only two hours

Clank: Yes

Ratchet: ...Teach me!

Clank *Closes laptop* No

Ratchet: Come on, teach me how you friggin' did it!

Clank: *Leaves the room*

Ratchet: Clank? You can't avoid this forever, Clank! You'll have to teach me eventually! Clank!

* * *

**Next in the series we have Jay, Kai, and Lloyd playing Pokemon X! Your job is to choose their starter:**

**Chespin (Grass type)**

**Fennekin (Fire type)**

**Froakie (Water type)**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


End file.
